99 is such a pretty number, dont you think?
But I wonder if Ill be satisfied when I reach it. If I reach it.
Its seems to be so important. I wonder what its like to be a girl that doesnt obssess over the number on her scales. I wonder if there even are any girls like that anymore. Everyone wants to be pretty and perfect.
Im gonna up my workout reps, starting tuesday, when Im back at my apartment.
I dream about having a completely flat stomach, a thigh gap, strong legs and toned arms...
I reached my goal of visible colar bones a few months ago. And they are still there.
Resting delicatly under my skin.
But of course its not enough, I need the other things too.
I despise food, and the love/hate relationship I have with it. I crave it when im bored even when im not hungry, and the second I swallow its like heavy poison in my stomach.
I can phisically feel as if fat was layering on my waist after every meal, and when I go without it feels like Im a fraction lighter than before. Makes me wonder why I would ever eat.
I feel huge, like a whale, like a bloated idiot fatty that cant stop eating crap.
99 seems so pretty, and so far away...