Well I had a little cos she was watching and I felt preassured.. I felt terible afterwards and succesfully purged within 5 minute.
Im not proud of my purging, but a girls gotta do.
Im not sure if I should be writing this next paragraph, but you guys are the only people i can talk about this >_< but dont say i didnt warn... Its kinda TMI and potentially triggering.. Im not sure yet as I havent written it, but yeah..
Its kinda scary how good ive gotten at purging. The moment my knees hit the floor, I place my elbows on the seat and my hands hold my hair back, I just have to open my mouth and I retch and throw up no poblem. Im even pretty quiet. I just have to open my mouth wide enough and it triggers a gag reflex. And I dont even have to run a tap or anything, noone knows what im up to. I think.
I felt good after my purge, a bit guilty.. as im trying so hard to lose weight other ways... and trying not to resort to purging... but the nice light feeling overcame the guilt and i just let myself feel empty and hollow.
Two hours later I made myself a small salad, mostly cucumber and yellow pepper, so as to up my veggie intake as ive hardly had any today, and then for supper just now I had the rest of the Papaya and a nice green tea.
I like how the Papaya leaves a nice taste in my mouth and how, even though after eating it i dont feel hungry, my stomach still feels light.. its not a heavy bloated kind of full. I dont feel the weight of food in my stomach, but i dont feel the hunger too. Im pretty sure that the tea helps with that too. My love for green tea grows daily <3
Ive always been a coffee person, not much of a tea drinker, but i guess thats changed now. I had to work myself of coffee because my addiction to caffeine really wasnt doing me any favours, and that was a very hard thing to do. I went through terrible withdrawl symptoms, i felt sick for ages.
I still allow myself the occasional coffee but nowhere near as much as before, and I was reading up on the good things about green tea so I tried it , and everytime i have it I like it more haha
Im feeling happy right now and let me conclude this relatively good day by welcoming my new follower ruby-tuesday ^^ Its feels so nice to have another person that reads the nonsense i write haha
And lots of love to Kate. I always love reading what you have to say, in comment form, and on your blog ^^
Stay strong my lovelies <3