Im stressing so much about my weight and my appearance... more than usual.
The minute i feel like im about to drift off to sleep I start imagining myself slowly from feet to head, how i want my body to look like so that its the last thing i think about before sleep .. Im so tired of wanting to be perfect. But I cant give it up. Settling for anything less makes me feel like im cheating, like i could be doing better (wich is true) but i cant settle to be anything less than what i feel I need to be..
Im so tired. Ive been mucking out the stable at my mothers house all morning in the blazing hot spanish summer sun.
I almost passed out several times and had to go inside to the shade and drink some water, wich is why it took so long. Even with my sister helping me. I sopose i should put this in to my workout for today haha Im sure Ive burned quite a few caliries doing that (there are two stables and a paddock that haddnt been mucked out in 3 weeks >_> poor animals)
Let it be noted that i have been away on holiday, if i hadnt they would have been tended to much sooner, I care about my horse and donkey.
I have developed the biggest crush on Silas Weir Mitchell imaginable hahah hes awesome and sexy and rugged heh love the beard .