Who am I?

Mi foto
Not even I know who i am full well, but I will try to explain as well as i can what i do know. I am a girl. I fight depression, and social anxiety. More than anything I want to lose weight. This is my attempt to start over. Youll get to know me as you read the anectodes of my life.

miércoles, 17 de octubre de 2012

In the library

I STILL dont have interent in my apartment though yesterday we managed to sign a contract for Jazztel ADSL so hopefully that means that we will receve internet soon within the next week. Maybe. You never know with these people. Well see.
I have been eating really little lately, but not working out and i feel so guilty when i think about it but i nver seem to get off my fat ass and get a move on.
Last time i weighed myself was when i wrote the last post so I dont know what the damage is right now :( i hate not having my own scale...

Yesterday my flat mate told me i looked fat. 

She said that I had put on a lot of weight since the last time we had seen eachother before summer 

She then said that my other flatmate was the one who had put onthe most weight though 

But that its really noticable on me 

I was tiny before 

she said 

I went all quiet but she didnt notice how her words were affecting me. 

She then went on to tell me exactly how much weight she had lost and where she notices it most. 

My lovely readers will know what that means. To hear someone say those things to you. You dont need me to tell you how depressed I got and how i starved myself for the rest of the day and today. How I felt like punching her and throwing myself from the window, or hiding forever.
She doesnt understand how that subject can affect someone so profoundly.
How I wish i cared as little as her.
Though i dont really wish that.
Because I dont want to let go and put on MORE weight...

All ive had since she said those things is a black coffee and a piece of ham.

I love you all and i hope your all better than i am right now... Im going to read some bloggs now <3
Lots of love and Keep breathing

1 comentario:

  1. What an absolute idiot you share with! Hope u get connected soon. Ive missed u!