Who am I?

Mi foto
Not even I know who i am full well, but I will try to explain as well as i can what i do know. I am a girl. I fight depression, and social anxiety. More than anything I want to lose weight. This is my attempt to start over. Youll get to know me as you read the anectodes of my life.

lunes, 26 de noviembre de 2012

Isnt is always the way,

I had a post all written out to send yesterday but i lost it and I got so mad that I gave up just like that. What does that say about my determination and will to see things through huh?
It is 9:32 am where I am right now, and I was awoken by a call from my mother on my phone, which resulted in and argument wich im pretty sure woke my flatmate up and possibly

the upstairs neighbours.
And then she wonders why I dont call her so much.

This next part might be triggering, I dont know I havent written it  yet, but Im gonna talk about b/p so be warned. 
Just in case. 

Tomorow is my first Weigh in and im sort of excited but mostly not as I binged BIG time on pizza yesterday (another reason for my mini breakdown when i lost the post/rant I was writing)
I tried to purge but got very little up. Ok I lie I didnt just binge in pizza. I bonged on a Whole Babacue Pizza, Garlic bread and Chocolate Pudding.

I got about half out when i purged but i know its not enough. Im expecting a 59 or higher and if ive maintained ill be devestated but not asmuch as ill be if ive gained.... If ive gained i feel like im gonna loose it and freak out and starve myself again.
and again
and maybe again.

Im gonna eat very little today, just enough to keep me awake during a lecture i have to attend and now before the day begins im going work out hard untill im shaking. I can do this! whatever.

I have GOT to loose weight before christmas.

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